The envelope game

So, before I left Kansas, my friends held a funeral in my behalf.  It was so much fun!  I walked in and they had a shrine to me with candles and my ashes.  Each person at the party took turns telling what they were going to miss about me, like I actually was dead and would never return.  Dubya is always so creative in her party planning!  We had funeral type food, such as "funeral potatoes", that were sooo good, we had green jello with marshmallows (typical Mo food!) and a couple other things.  After the funeral commenced, we had time to play some games.  Dubya had been telling me about a super fun game that her friend made up.  It's called the envelope game.  The way it works: each person has an envelope, they write a question on the outside.  They pass each envelope around and each person puts an answer to the question in the envelope.  Sounds boring, right?  Well, the answers to the questions have to include someone that's in the game.  It was kind of confusing at first, but it got to be so much fun.  We all had to promise before the game started that we wouldn't get offended and that we were all just joking by the "zings" we were throwing at each other.  Once everyone has had a chance to write an answer to the questions (without letting anyone else see their answers), the game leader collects the envelopes and reads all of the questions and answers aloud.  Below are some of my favorite questions and answers.

Who's most likely to let themselves go after marriage?  You know, gain weight, get ugly...

-Morgan because his wife will tell him on the wedding night "never again"., 

-Brett, he's already started

-Jacob, he won't get a pretty girl, so he'll have to ugly up

-Missy, but how can you let yourself go when you never had it together in the first place?

-Some of you have done it BEFORE marriage!  Yikes!

-Is it already happening?  You aren't even married Suzy!

-Jake, he tries so hard already, he won't be able to keep up the maintenance!

Who would you want to go on a road trip with?

-Suzy...if it's an overnighter!

-Morgan, so he can bring his guitar and sing more depressing songs

-Greg, if I had ear plugs!

Who's likely to be a dirty mistress?

-Missy is a dirty mistress

-Jake, the sex change is coming as soon as his hair gets long enough.  Fake hair, not okay.  Fake everything else...perfectly fine.  And who is dirtier than Jake?  Exactly!

-Missy, she currently is...with her boss!

Who's most willing to make out with someone of the same sex and like it?

-Whitney, she's so desperate and is willing to do anything!

-Morgan, I'm pretty sure he did enjoy it.  Ask Jake!

-Suzy because she'll be sick of her guy friends not making  move, so she'll make out with a girl to get noticed

Who's most likely to be arrested and for what?

-Missy, indecent exposure

-Sadly Suzy, she stole my heart

Who would you like to be your super hero and why?

-Whitney, she'd be Super Boob Hammock girl.  She can make anything disappear when strategically placed between her super boobs!

-Julie, she could be the invisible woman.  Let's face it, the less we see of her, the better!

Who's most likely to pick up a prostitute?

-Whitney, I mean she picks herself up every time she's down

-I dunno, but Jake is most likely to be a cross-dressing he-she prostitute

-Suzy, only if the prostitutes name is Jake...wink!

After reading all of that you probably think that our friendships are so twisted, but try it!  It's so fun!

Life in Pittsburgh

Ok, so I finally moved to Pittsburgh.  After months and months of waiting, it happened!  Hoorah!  I left Kansas almost 2 weeks ago and the moving company is finally bringing my belongings today.  No more sleeping on an air mattress in an empty apartment.  Dubya and my friends threw me a funeral before I left, which was fantastic.  I'll be adding a post later about an awesome game we play.  It deserves it's very own post!  I've been working out of hotel offices for the past week and will be doing so until the end of next month.  Then I'll finally get to move into our brand new building and my brand new office...can't wait.  

Shelly got me reading the most intense books of all time!  The Twilight series.  I'm almost embarrassed to say that I'm actually reading them because basically they are teenage romance novels.  Eek!  Shelly convinced me to read the first one "Twilight" because it was awesome.  I was very leery of this, because all in all I'm not a big reader.  I never have been.  In school I would buy the notes from the books so I wouldn't have to read them!  So, I read "Twilight" (about 500 pages) in about 3 days.  I couldn't believe it!  I got sucked in.  Then I decided that I HAD to read the next one to see what would happen.  I read New Moon (almost 600 pages) in 1 day!!!!  Seriously?!  I started Eclipse last night and read about a third of it.  I don't know what it is about these books that just lures me in, but I'm obsessed!  I'm sure there will be posts dedicated to these books.  The 4th book just came out and I can't wait to get it, and then she's writing a 5th as well!  I guess it's good that I have these books to obsess over because as of right now, I have no friends!  Boo!  

I'm moving to Pittsburgh!

Finally!  I got offered the HR Manager position in Pittsburgh!  I'll be moving at the end of this month and am super psyched about it.  I'll be going out for a house/apartment hunting trip in the next couple of weeks and hopefully be able to find something perfect for me that's not in the ghetto where I'd hear gunshots all night.  Yikes!  Seeing how I've never been to Pittsburgh, I don't know what to expect.  Missy lives here with me and it looks like she'll be moving back to Indy to be with the family.  I can't wait!

Am I moving, or not?

As you may know, I am a very career driven person.  My career is pretty much the focal point of my life.  Some may disapprove of my lifestyle, or mild obsession with my work, but I am one of the few that can honesty say that I love my job.  I go each day ready for whatever is thrown at me, because no 2 days are the same.  I work with great people and feel a great accomplishment from my day to day successes.  I have been working with the same company for almost 6 years and have been in my current role for almost 4 of them.  I haven't had much disappointment with my career up to this point, because my company is awesome!  However, I'm stressing out right now!  I'm totally putting the cart before the horse here, but this is causing severe anxiety!  Not good!  I've put my name in for a job transfer.  At first I wasn't too excited about the new location, but after having done extensive research and putting lots of thought into it, I finally started getting excited about the possible opportunity.  The city is perfect for me, it's closer to my family and it is a new challenge.  I've been here for 2 years and have learned a lot and really would like the chance to apply what I've learned to a new position.  So, here is where the anxiety is coming from: I don't know if I'm going to get the job!  I hate the waiting process, it's killing me!  Of course, I feel that I'm the best candidate, but then again...who doesn't think that about themselves?!  I interviewed this week, and should be finding out for sure next week.  I'm convinced that I'm going to have bleeding ulcers by then or have a panic attack!

Shelly came into town this weekend to have a girls weekend.  We just hung out and did a whole lot of nothing!  It was awesome!  She came in Thursday night and left Monday.  My favorite part of the weekend was Saturday.  We went to the day spa, it was awesome!  We got facials, massages, body scrubs and body wraps.  Heavenly!  

Child friendly?

I went out with Dubya this evening and we had quite an adventure.  I can't describe all of the things we experienced in this post, but there is one event that stuck out to me.  We went into a relatively nice restaurant to grab what we thought would be a nice quiet dinner.  We were seated and immediately heard the screaming of a young girl at the table next to us.  Our waiter came, we ordered food, we were conversing and having a relatively decent time.  Again, the disruptions ensued.  Throughout our meal there were tantrums thrown, drinks knocked over, unnecessary screams, demands for attention, crying, refusal to eat her food, etc.  I thought back to a recent discussion I heard on a local radio station.  The topic of discussion was on places that are/aren't appropriate to take your children.  One of the radio announcers said that children should be banned from restaurants so that innocent bystanders don't have to suffer from the dronings of angry children.  I believe that his opinion is a bit extreme, yet has some validity.  An Applebee's, in my opinion is child friendly.  But, why do people feel it's necessary to take their children to upscale restaurants?  Are their kid's taste that developed that only 5 star restaurant food will do?  Do kids not eat mac and cheese or pizza anymore?  I have no issue with well behaved children, I rather like them!  I just get annoyed when people bring their unruly children out and interrupt a meal that I pay good money to enjoy.  If I would have acted in any way as this little girl did, I would have been removed from the restaurant immediately by one of my parents until I was able to control myself.  I don't have children, so I'm not the expert on how to deal with them.  I may find out later that the solution to these problems are not at all what I think they should be.  But, nonetheless, currently I am a single person that enjoys quiet time and the ability to converse without disruption while I enjoy a meal.

FOXSexpert: Successful, Yet Single. A Uniquely Female Conundrum

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

By Yvonne K. Fulbright

 FNC

Yvonne K. Fulbright

She’s choosing not to marry. She doesn’t care if she’s attached — at least some of the time.

She isn’t problematically picky. She doesn’t have a fear of commitment. She doesn’t have any major issues or baggage. So what’s “wrong” with the single, successful, empowered female? Society wants to know. Sometimes, she wants to know herself.

We have witnessed a more dramatic change in female sexuality — and marriage, for that matter — in the last 30 years than occurred in the previous 5,000.

This is in large part thanks to enormous progress made in the realms of gender equality and greater female autonomy. With this sociological shift, we’ve seen the rise of flourishing females, many of whom are surprisingly single. The brainteaser with these deities of desirability is that many of them are choosing to be single — at least to a certain point.

Single, empowered, successful women are here to stay. Yet, with their profound presence, meeting potential partners, dating, finding romance and building relationships in the traditional American sense have been thrown into chaos.

This woman wants love, companionship, and commitment. And she’s willing to put herself out there for it. But — and this is a huge but — she’s not willing to compromise who she is or what she has rightfully earned, as is often the expectation.

While it’s easy to fault ignorant or intimidated males for not stepping up or evolving themselves, it’s no wonder that they don’t know what to do. They haven’t been bred to handle this new breed of babes. The results have been nothing but disastrous on the dating front, as women have told me:

— “My biggest problem these days is being more educated than the men I am dating. It seems to be an ‘issue’ at some level, although they don’t go so far as to say this is the real reason!”

— “I am finding that some of the men I am meeting have a lot of issues with my success. This baggage comes in the form of preconceived notions about types of women (career women, single women, etc.). They think they know everything there is to know about the ‘type’ of person I am, which isn’t always attractive, and it is simply silly …”

— “The men I date seem to think that chivalry is dead given today’s female empowerment — and it’s not! I hate not being treated like a lady on a date.”

— “I’m still waiting for the Oprah show featuring a bunch of single men lined up, ready to receive training on how to adapt to the needs and desires of today’s single, successful women — instead of it always being us accommodating them!”

In knowing these attractive ladies personally, I can tell you that all of them exude confidence and convey a sense of togetherness that would seem to ensure dating success. Yet thriving is thwarting their love lives. Their prospering presentation somehow attracts men in the short-term, but alienates them in the long run.

Is it any wonder that many single, successful, empowered women find themselves recovering from a series of promising relationships that mysteriously derail? Cruelly, society’s scrutiny of the situation becomes “What’s wrong with her?” It’s only natural for the woman to wonder then, too, “What’s wrong with me?”

Here are a few of the things that may be wrong with her:

She’s bringing home the bacon.

Women are moving into the workforce and don’t need anyone to take care of them — and their children. They are more educated and have careers to envy. For the last few decades, we have seen women slowly closing the gender gap in education, health and economic power. Many anthropologists have argued that we’re actually reclaiming a status we had hundreds of thousands of years ago, so we are in our element right now.

She doesn’t have to marry for sex.

Females are expressing their sexuality as never before. For better or for worse, females are having sex sooner, have more partners, marry later, have fewer kids, leave their marriages for better ones, have less remorse for the sex partners they have had, are committing adultery ... Many are also taking their sexual satisfaction into their own hands, with or without a male.

In fact, one long-term Australian study found that single women have twice as many orgasms as married women. Researchers found that 56 percent of sexually active women with no current partner could reach climax every time via self-pleasuring versus only 24 percent of the women with partners. The reason: they’re better at connecting with themselves.

She doesn’t have to be submissive.

Married or not, equality is the norm in today’s relationships. A companionate union where lovers see each other as peers is expected and demanded. If a man is a bit “old-fashioned” in his ideas over dominating a relationship, he’s got another thing coming with these women.

She can be more selective.

While single women are criticized for having standards that are too high, theirs is really a matter of not having found the right man or that they are exercising caution. She does not want to give up everything that she has worked so hard for, and forfeit the powerful part of her identity, in order to please a man.

She’s more interesting than ever.

She knows that there’s a lot more to life than planning her wedding day and how to get to the altar. She’s embracing all that life has to give her, chasing interests she wouldn’t have the time for if enmeshed in a relationship. Still, her hope is that she may find a partner equally interesting ... one day.

With all of these aspects of her life in place, the woman’s only comfort — though not very comforting — is that she’s intimidating on the dating scene. The very traits that lend themselves to success in the professional world are sabotaging her love life. There is nothing “wrong” with her.

It’s just that she’s been dealt an entirely different hand — an arguably better one at that — when it comes to finding love. And when she reminds herself of the position she’s in, she knows that it’s not a bad one. She can take her time in finding what she wants — and do it on her own terms.